Cliche..but true! I do not know what’s going on other people’s lives…. but I do know what’s going on in mine.
I’m an Asian…I grew up with Tiger Grandparents, not mom. I remember when I was in primary school, I had to go home once I finished school. Going out with friends after school was NEVER ONCE on my list. Though I remember, I lied to my grandma one afternoon after school that I will be having an “urgent remedial” and had to stay till evening. She believed me, of course.. And I stayed in school to play hopscotch with friends. That was a luxury then. I enjoyed staying out of house and I continued that lie UNTIL the end of the year where my grandma found out thru the parent-teacher meeting session that I lied about having remedial every week. Since then, my gandma got suspicious of me everytime i told i will be having remedial every week unless i bring home those consent forms for my mom to sign to PROVE that i REALLY have remedial -.-
Speaking of my mom, yeah, she doesn’t play an important role in disciplining me. It’s all the job of my grandparents. If i EVER failed a subject….i’d run to my mom and BEGGED her not to tell my grandparents and made her sign the paper and if she DOESNT, i will stuff the test paper under my bed and pretend that it’s eaten up by dogs.
So back to story, my grandma was really strict to me. She used those really tiger moms’ methods to discipline me. So, after that incident..i know i had to be a good girl and “earn” the trust back.
I took literally a good 4 years to “earn” back the trust. The first time I was able to go out for lunch with my friends at ChinaTown was when i was secondary 2. I remember so clearly how I felt that day. I was chancing and just asked candidly if i could go out and have lunch with my friends just a few bus stops away from school…and i will return home as soon as im done. Like… you gotta promise something you will do after receiving the treat. That was the start of having freedom.
I cherished every moment out with friends lest I lose the chance of doing so.
Then I started working in a childcare center. Life wasn’t fantastic at that moment. Nobody thinks you have the ability to work when you’re 14, they think you can only work in Macdonalds or KFC as server.So the first year was…S-H-I-T. I had to sweep the floor, clean the toys, disinfect the mats, take out the sleeping mats and stuffs like that. It was basically a sai-kang job. hahha. I started to earn money….and being a 14 year old, i gave all the money I earned to my grandma. I think it was because of that action, my grandma felt kinda 欣慰 that at least I dint turn out to be ah lian. hahaaha.
And one day, my grandma had a talk with me. She said something along this line — do things only when you know you can bear the consequences whether it’s good or bad. — Never turned back since that sentence.
And now, based in beijing for my studies….my grandparents are better to me. hahaha. okay, i mean, they love me and not that they are bad to me….i just meant…..they are less strict. or maybe…..cus they are a lot older now…. 很多事情都看开了….
Looking back to those times when i got caned and had to go to school with cane marks on my calves for weeks, the grudges I had then has vanished and whats left is gratitude towards my grandparents. Those experiences were painful …and even awful to think about sometimes, yet they are what make me today.
I do not sit with my legs opened ‘cus my grandpa will cane and/or slap my knees.
I do not slurp when i eat ‘cus my grandpa will TSK and stare at me and if i dont get him, i get the real deal of getting scolded at the dinner table.
I do not put my elbow on the dinner table because that’s a sign of disrespectful…
etc etc etc
and when i see other people doing those stuffs , i smiled and thank God that my grandpa taught me the right things if not i would be looking/sounding like those uncouth people.
my family. dysfunctional. different from others…but still awesome.
end of post! and ….没有重点. HAHAHAHA