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From unemployed to semi-employed

I’m on the journey of becoming officially employed. I blogged recently in China about finding the right job, and I have been finding the right one for myself. Well, the answer to that is that I have found the job I am really interested in and I think I will enjoy working in the said company.

I had been in a dilemma ever since I was offered two opportunities when I was back. Both opportunities offered were very enticing and I am genuinely interested in both. I went through 4-5 rounds of interview for company A, and I took a really hard exam to score an interview session for company B. I had to choose, A or B.

Company A offers me the position I like, but the pay for that was mediocre or should I say slightly less than mediocre. Results from company B hasn’t come out yet, and I think the chances of me getting it would be 60%. Cuz I think i kinda screwed the interview up by being too cocky. In fact, I wasn’t in the right mood to deal with the interview because company A has offered me a job. All in all, i thought I could have done better lah. Anyway, I liked both companies. One is US-based, and one is local.

Actually the choice is not very tough, but I brought it upon myself by thinking too much lah. Really. So stupid. So much so that I tied myself to the ground making it very tough for myself to make decision.

It’s very easy to throw out advice to friends and people around you, but when it really happens on your, damn it, you have no idea what to do. Seriously, I caught myself off guard plenty times and I try to really force myself to do what I need to do. When I was faced with monetary problems, I was tempted to go to the one with higher remuneration. Then I ask myself if the monetary could make me happy during my stay in that job. I realize I cannot imagine myself to go to work happy but I could imagine me being really satisfied and accomplished when I thought of the one with lower pay.

I might be thinking too much, company B might not even offer me a job and probably I will just left with one choice–company A. Heh. but opportunities are for those who are well-prepared. So its still good to be mentally prepared for all kind of situations. Hohoho.

Aiya, I think I will just sign the contract for company A lah. Have a job is better than no job, and I shall review this topic of Passion over money after I work lah okay.

Post-college

I came back for a few things and one of it is to attend a seminar held by my professors in college. Because I’m so ridiculous like that, I signed myself up for the seminar. It’s free because I told my professor I want to attend and she said I could attend, but I have to help her during the course.

So i thought it’s just helping out doing some sai-kang work. I forgot I’m talking about china here, my professor made me do so much i felt like I’m one of the organisers. Lol.

What did I bring home from the seminar? Well, I learnt how to maximise my body so I could hang as many goody bags, to come up with weird solutions to questions I don’t even understand just because my prof told me “let them whatever you know about this course. you’ve done that in your senior year! go go go!” Oh. I forgot how I used to slog my life away for my prof when everyone else is writing their thesis.

Aiyoh. I kinda miss the life and couldn’t help but to wonder what’s going to happen to me next. What is my next phase of life?

When I was young, I wanted to grow up so bad. I wanted dress myself up in pretty clothes and high heels. I wanted to be able to take control of my life like an adult.

and now that I’ve reached that certain age where Im old enough to do what I like, and to take control of my life entirely, I felt unsure, and insecure.

Like I want to chicken out from those aspirations that I used to have when I was young. I just want to be provided for and I want live the life like a lil kid with no responsibility. Ah. those carefree moments.

Just let me indulge in my world for a few more days…….

Applying for Jobs

As a fresh grad, I think I’m pretty relaxed about jobs——— as compared to my peers.

I’m not rich, neither is my family. I’m not not finding, I just don’t want myself to get desperate and land on any other jobs that I will dread going to work in the morning. 我絕對沒有要弔起來賣的意思。

I’m 24 this year, and people my age are starting up companies, working in MNCs, wearing gucci and pradas. And I’m just strolling down the streets in h&m shorts and uniqlo t-shirts.

Peer pressure? Yeah of course, but I also know that if I missed having this period of time in my life, I would definitely regret it later in life. I see friends dragging their feet in the morning to take the free MRT rides, I meet up with friends 10pm at night for my supper—their dinner, I hear complains. They take turns to tell me, “Your turn is coming very soon.”

For clarification, I’m not paranoid about getting a job. I just needed a break from my 24 years of hectic student life before entering into the workforce for the next 40 years. Man. What’s these 2-3months of break? It pales in comparison with the big numbers.

Then again, it may just be all bullshit here. I may really be desperate for jobs, but putting a nonchalant front so nobody can judge me. HAHA. Well, maybe.

I’m enjoying my stay in Beijing at the moment. The life here as a “tourist” triumphs the life as a “student” SO freaking MUCH. Yeah man, this entire city looks afresh to me, it’s glowing its ridiculous. Am I seeing things with a weird tinted goggles here? I don’t know man. When I was still a student here, I dreaded living in this city. I hated the pollution, I hated the cough and *gargles* spit, I just dislike the rude people here. Then this trip, I kinda embrace everything that I once hated. So strange.

By no means I’m any richer than I was a student.I’m in fact, poorer. Like poor until can die kind.

Maybe it has gotta do with the nice weather these days. Wow, the skies were blue for a few consecutive days. I know right! We’re talking about beijing here!

OH. Since we are talking about Jobs here, some people asked if I was interested in getting a job here in Beijing. I mean… I want to! The MR is working here and I dislike LDR omg. I’ve been searching for jobs really hard in Beijing from April-July( Yah, I know I said I wasn’t rushed. This is different lah okay. I need to fight for a place in Beijing ok.)and I had a few jobs lined up. Then suddenly, some told me the law for work VISA has changed. Apparently it requires fresh grad to have at least 1 year of experience after your graduation(Does that even consider as fresh grad?). Like wtf, why God why. A lot of friends told me I could get agents in China to do the dirty job, I just need to pay. It sounds very illegal for a Singaporean. LOL.

Companies I’ve spoken to, and interviewed for brought up the working visa and well, I lost a few offers because of that. WHAT!!!

One local friend told me have it checked out, because it’s discrimination against people. *Shrugs. But it’s china we are talking about here. I’m scared.

Grand Arrival~~~

JENG JENG JENG JENNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG~~~

It’s funny how the last post was also “BACK AGAIN” then I disappeared for like more than half a year and here I am saying, “DUDE IM BACK AGAIN.”

WHAT SHIT. HHAHAHAHAHHAAH.

So. I was on a hiatus. I shut down my blog and I thought I wasn’t going to be here forever. I’m back in less than a year. I don’t miss blogging, I missed having to read my posts. YEP IMMA BIG FAN OF MY OWN BLOG HAHAHAHHAA.

I try not to regret what I have had done over the years… but really.. shutting the blog was one of my biggest mistakes. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking and I’m regretting it big time. I didn’t get to re-live my hilarious moments through my blog. Big sigh.

June is ending in one week. What the hell? I thought it has just started!!! and my student visa ends on July 31. Wow. Time rocketed.

I’ve more or less figured things out and I really hope I can stay in Beijing for a bit to craft out my own career. Most people were right, when we were out of Singapore, our horizons widened, we see things differently and I cannot beg everyone to agree on my stand. As long as I know I’m not fighting this battle alone, I think I’m good. My family weren’t very supportive of my decision to stay in Beijing, but I think that doesn’t hinder me from trying. For I know I will regret if I did not even try for myself.

It’s hard, people says. But I never thought it would be THIS hard. It’s tough, to go against what has been planned for you. And sometimes you wonder, if you were making the right choice.

Maybe this is what they call the quarter life crisis. HAHAHA.

 

Back Again

I have always imagined myself sitting around in Starbucks with my laptop and a mug dark mocha frap, looking at people, searching for inspiration. Today here I am, doing the above, I look at people walked past me, I see each individuals’ expressionless faces, I see no inspirations.  I am disappointed.

I look ahead, I see a few students plugged in with their heads down mugging for their exams. I turned around, I see a few OL queuing up for their lunch snacks. They are so busy. 

I have nothing to do, literally.

 

Are you cheating

I had a Singaporean gathering on the first day of the QingMing holiday. Lest you didn’t already know, china has like three days of public holidays for it. So you know, it’s unlike the situation here in China where you have more males than females, Singapore has generally more females than males. and being a pea sized country, there’re only that much of Singaporean you could find in China, let alone studying in the same school.

some bailed on us and ended up there were only like four of us—-3f1m. lol
So the point of this post is not about the gathering itself, it’s like one of the topics we touched on.

I forgot what we were talking about, I just randomly (as usual) threw something really random out. I asked, “So you know, I’ve watched this show and there was this couple went to a marriage psychologist to try and salvage their marriage. The problem they are having is that when they are having sex, the wife screamed “Tom!” out loud and the husband stopped and was like, “…who did you just screamEd?!” The wife told the psychologist that the “Tom” was Tom Cruise, and that she did not cheat on him. So what do you ladies think? Cheated or not ?”

Both of my friends answered— NO.

One even said, “It’s considered no when I think about it, but maybe when he thought of it…then maybe or yes!”

Interesting topic, yes?

More often than not, we (for me at the very least) feel that it’s harder for us to really cheat than men. In this case, I’m trying to eliminate the possibilities of a slut and a Casanova. Just a normal girl dating a normal guy. I would think or tend to think that normally a girl needs to be emotionally attached to have sex(I already said to exclude those who think ONS is fine) and that guy can just have sex for sex–not emotionally attached.

So the question is, does thinking of someone else considered cheating?

I think it’s treading on a very fine line between “is cheating” and “not cheating”. If let say you tell me M thought of Jennifer Lopez when he’s in bed with me, maybe I’ll be like “what?so you think I’m not as pretty as her Izzit.”–jokingly. And I won’t even harp another second on it. BUT if m was that stupid to tell me, “Kiki, I thought of my ex GF when I was having sex with you” then trust me, I will castrate him for 1)insulting me, 2)still thinking of his ex gf, 3)for being a jerk to me.

So I guess it’s down to how you look at it? Some would say they would rather you have meaningless physical sex with someone else with no string attached than you keep thinking of them emotionally and not having physical sex.

Well if say m watches porn, I MAY not be happy. Just saying,

Will there ever be a standard answer for this question? Maybe not.

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Fuck You, China Thief

After hearing friends around me of iphone being stolen by the PRCs here in beijing, I’m always on my fucking guard. I make sure my iPhone is always in my pocket at the intervals of 5 minutes each. Other than the cost of an iphone is expensive, it means so much to me because it was a gift from my grandparents for my 21st birthday.

It was expensive because they bought it without a plan.

I don’t know about you…but living in china since Sept 2010, china has NEVER EVER given me any good or precious memory (excluding Matt, duh)

I’m sure there are good people out there. I am so damn sure, but I never get to meet them. Mainlanders here have always given me negative impressions of them.

You walk on the roads and you see banners asking citizens of this shithole to be someone who cares blah blah, to uphold the goodness of china.. SERIOUSLY? Pui.

I wanna rage so much at this country right now. So so much that i think words cannot describe how the fuck I am feeling.

Dude, you need to get your iphone stolen to know how i feel. Fuck you—to the person who stole my phone. I hope you have a mouth full of ulcers. I hope when you use my iphone your hands will itch and rashes appear. I hope you couldn’t have a good night of sleep because angels of mine are peeing at your face. And if you are a guy, i hope you’ll never have a boner. If you’re someone with a vagina, i hope you get yeast infection.

DAMN IT IM SO MAD GRRRR