Are you cheating

I had a Singaporean gathering on the first day of the QingMing holiday. Lest you didn’t already know, china has like three days of public holidays for it. So you know, it’s unlike the situation here in China where you have more males than females, Singapore has generally more females than males. and being a pea sized country, there’re only that much of Singaporean you could find in China, let alone studying in the same school.

some bailed on us and ended up there were only like four of us—-3f1m. lol
So the point of this post is not about the gathering itself, it’s like one of the topics we touched on.

I forgot what we were talking about, I just randomly (as usual) threw something really random out. I asked, “So you know, I’ve watched this show and there was this couple went to a marriage psychologist to try and salvage their marriage. The problem they are having is that when they are having sex, the wife screamed “Tom!” out loud and the husband stopped and was like, “…who did you just screamEd?!” The wife told the psychologist that the “Tom” was Tom Cruise, and that she did not cheat on him. So what do you ladies think? Cheated or not ?”

Both of my friends answered— NO.

One even said, “It’s considered no when I think about it, but maybe when he thought of it…then maybe or yes!”

Interesting topic, yes?

More often than not, we (for me at the very least) feel that it’s harder for us to really cheat than men. In this case, I’m trying to eliminate the possibilities of a slut and a Casanova. Just a normal girl dating a normal guy. I would think or tend to think that normally a girl needs to be emotionally attached to have sex(I already said to exclude those who think ONS is fine) and that guy can just have sex for sex–not emotionally attached.

So the question is, does thinking of someone else considered cheating?

I think it’s treading on a very fine line between “is cheating” and “not cheating”. If let say you tell me M thought of Jennifer Lopez when he’s in bed with me, maybe I’ll be like “what?so you think I’m not as pretty as her Izzit.”–jokingly. And I won’t even harp another second on it. BUT if m was that stupid to tell me, “Kiki, I thought of my ex GF when I was having sex with you” then trust me, I will castrate him for 1)insulting me, 2)still thinking of his ex gf, 3)for being a jerk to me.

So I guess it’s down to how you look at it? Some would say they would rather you have meaningless physical sex with someone else with no string attached than you keep thinking of them emotionally and not having physical sex.

Well if say m watches porn, I MAY not be happy. Just saying,

Will there ever be a standard answer for this question? Maybe not.



Moving to the Third

Thirty-first of March two thousand thirteen was our Second Year together.

Friends of mine could have already seen my photos on all sort of possible awesome social platforms but I did a collage specially for this blog entry. Not very fantastic, I dug up last year’s photo which was shit. I have no idea why we cannot have decent photos on our anniversary…two years, we had shit photos taken. So cool.

M was sick last year for our anniversary and we didnt had a good time just because I was being anal to him (lol). So I kinda looked forward to this year’s anniversary. We had our anniversary dinner one day earlier this year because we both wanted to have a relaxing sunday to prepare ourselves for work the next day. We went to cafe de la poste (i dont even know if that is correct).

Tbh, i really had a good time time there. (well, I’m not commenting on the environment—-it’s a bar&restaurant—-so you know what I mean.) Food was really good. We had both Chef and Best Steak. —- Will do a review on it later— Focus on my anniversary please.

Like I told M, it’s so bloody cliche to say –Look time flies!– Cliche are meant to be cliche and I have to say it.. TIME FLEW BY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL LOST GRIP OF HER PRIZED BALLOONS–想追也追不回来– All happened too fast to even know what’s happening. Does it happen to you too?

Two years together: We spent three months together at the beginning, Close to seven-eight months apart(no seeing each other in between), back on 9th March 2012 till now.

The first three months together was a total bliss, we fought only about his ex-girlfriend. Eight months apart, we fought the first 5 months about insecurities, about distance, about uncertainties, about everything. From 9th March 2012 till now, we fought almost about everything the first three months and once we got used about having each other back again, we are more blissful than others.

It has been more than a year that M is back together with me and since that we had never looked back, or at least I never looked back. Long distance relationship seemed like they happened a decade ago, we got so used of having each other around.

Most of my friends asked this question at least once, ” Do you really think you could spend your life with M?”

It seems a little immature to say YAH YESSA immediately and No is definitely not an answer.

I tried to be a lil more realistic about the future. I always asked M silly questions like, ” So what if one day your ‘soulmate’ really appears right in front of you?”, “what happened when one day you met someone who gave you that right feel?” etc. Believe me, I’ve asked every possible permutations of such questions and more often than not, I also rolled my eyes when M gave me politically correct answer.

On a deeper note, it takes a lot to trust someone. I’ve used more time to learn to trust M than I took to write a chinese essay lol.

So my answer to that question is : I don’t know where life will bring me or us. I will do my best to keep us together, I will overcome any obstacles that comes into my way or our ways. At least on my part, I will never leave and will always be at that spot.

Sounds cheesy. I think you would know or feel me if you know.

Love is just like that. Able to sacrifice able to accept and able to hold one’s hand when the road has no lights. Because M gave me that sense of security, even just by playing his iPad beside me, even just by sleeping soundly.

Nights earthlings


I am da Boss

I hate it when M shuts me up with his work. Really.

I know it’s hard working in the society. It’s hard working for a boss. It’s hard trying to finish up work you need for the next day. It’s all hard-work, and believe me, I know.

I just don’t like it how M always uses work as an excuse. Like, “baby, shhh, im need to do my work now” or when I asked him to do something like slapping the pillows when it dropped beside, he would be like ” baby, i don’t have time for this, I’m doing work”.

WORK WORK WORK. Shut up, really.

I get really cheesed off with things like that. Because I have things on my plate, too.

A lot of random thoughts ran through my head while I was changing the bedsheets. I recalled my friend telling me to “live my age”.. Right, live my age. I’m twenty three in may, I need to live like a twenty three. I shouldn’t be worrying about lights in my house, doing two person laundry etc. I should be out with my friends.

I sound like I’m complaining…but it is really just pure whines. I’m gonna work around this work thing and let matt knows IM DA BOSS.I do almost everything in this house so i guess I have the right to let him know, “hey, stop your work excuse.”

Every men in this world should honour their wives or their girlfriends. Because really, our lives don’t revolve around you men.


I am so funny

Booyeh. China for the third year straight. I am still going strong. &tbh I’m actually enjoying my lifestyle here ATM except the pollution and freaking uncivilised creatures.

I was so bored just now that I re-read my post about my iphone got stolen. Man, I was so lenient in cursing that person who stole my phone. Just a lil update on that, FindMyiPhone sent me an email one week later saying that someone just deleted my phone data. Yay Apple, you are SO BLOODY capable. That stupid app has NO USE AT ALL. Okay, perhaps when you drop your phone under the bed and couldnt find it. So I’ve concluded that the best way to avoid your phone get stolen is to not bring your phone out at all and if you must, tug it in your underwear. 

and the best way to get over your lost phone is to buy another one.

Trust me, that’s the most effective way of getting over it. Because I had to use my blackberry for a week or two before i got my new iphone5 and the pain of losing it didnt cease till the second i paid for my new phone

Speaking of iPhone5, MEH. Everyone around me knows im an avid supporter for Apple. I LOVE APPLE with ALL my heart. I have apple products ranging from mp3 to laptops to ipads to phones. But really, iphone5 wasnt that SPECTACULAR. Coming from someone like me, yeah it MEANS alot. I was nearly….very close to getting a Samsung Galaxy Note 2. Note 2 was huge, was newer, was (in a sense) better. It was a close fight between iPhone 5 and Samsung Note 2, the former won by just one deciding factor. I blame it on my faithfulness for Apple and my laziness. Because I am using all apple products for my gadgets, i felt like it was easier to sync all my data with an iPhone 5 rather than Note2 which uses Andriod system. I hate having to type all my contacts one by one into note2 and all. So I bought my iPhone 5 in the end.

The recent release of Samsung galaxy S4 JUST MAKE MY IPHONE 5 LOOKS LIKE A TOY. Wtf. It was so power pack. So good. IF apple is not having some serious reflection on this, I am going to be a samsung fan. Really. So lets hope that steve jobs appears in tim cook’s dreams and let him know what are the possible ways to overtake samsung.

Personal updates later. I need to drink my herbal soup. toddles



Little Things

There are so many things in life that we are not happy about, not satisfied with.

Today I accompanied my grandmomo for her physiotherapy session at SGH and I’ve observed my unknown source of frustration overwhelmed me the whole trip.

I have absolutely no idea where my frustration origins from. I was JUST. FRUSTRATED.

I get mad at my grandmomo for crossing at  a roundabout…without checking for ongoing cars. I shouted at her, ” POPO! Stop crossing the roads LIKE THAT“.. I was CLEARLY very mad.

After her physiotherapy, she wanted to wait for shuttle bus. I got MAD AGAIN. I told her, ” wahlao, queue so long, wait until our turn we already reach the mrt liao (if we walked)” We waited for 15 minutes or so…..

While I rested, the whole frustration scene keep replaying in my mind. I was overwhelmed with guilt, I could literally feel the guilt eating me up giving me the goosebumps.

I guess I was just being an asshole.

I felt really terrible. I love my grandmoma SO MUCH. Everyone who knows me knows how important she is to me. Yet how i treated her today, totally couldn’t speak for how much I loved her. I’m sorry grandma.

I will be extra mindful of my actions. I love you popo, so so much.


Fuck You, China Thief

After hearing friends around me of iphone being stolen by the PRCs here in beijing, I’m always on my fucking guard. I make sure my iPhone is always in my pocket at the intervals of 5 minutes each. Other than the cost of an iphone is expensive, it means so much to me because it was a gift from my grandparents for my 21st birthday.

It was expensive because they bought it without a plan.

I don’t know about you…but living in china since Sept 2010, china has NEVER EVER given me any good or precious memory (excluding Matt, duh)

I’m sure there are good people out there. I am so damn sure, but I never get to meet them. Mainlanders here have always given me negative impressions of them.

You walk on the roads and you see banners asking citizens of this shithole to be someone who cares blah blah, to uphold the goodness of china.. SERIOUSLY? Pui.

I wanna rage so much at this country right now. So so much that i think words cannot describe how the fuck I am feeling.

Dude, you need to get your iphone stolen to know how i feel. Fuck you—to the person who stole my phone. I hope you have a mouth full of ulcers. I hope when you use my iphone your hands will itch and rashes appear. I hope you couldn’t have a good night of sleep because angels of mine are peeing at your face. And if you are a guy, i hope you’ll never have a boner. If you’re someone with a vagina, i hope you get yeast infection.